I seriously have the Best Friends Ever!

Aly is one of those friends who would go to the ends of the world to be there for a friend.  I met her through The Nest and I am so happy to know her.  She's a spunky little Phillie who really takes the time to get to know people and give whatever she can.  Today she brought me CUPCAKES!!!  And let me tell you these weren't just your average cupcakes.  They are from Sugardarlings and they are fluffy little heaven cakes with angel halos of delicious frosting.  I think I might need another one soon.  I was so excited when she got here I dug in immediately before taking a pic, so it's missing a red velvet and a strawberry cheesecake.  But you can probably imagine... YUMMMM!

I already polished of the vanilla one in the front also, and I am dying to dig into the others but am going to pace myself... 

So after Aly left I checked the mail and one of my oldest friends had sent me a package!!  Nancy was my PEN PAL when I was just a little thing.  I don't know, maybe 12 years old?  She lived in the great wide open state Texas, where everything is bigger, and I lived in the middle of the woods in a cozy tiny village in the mountains of upstate NY, waaaay upstate.  Canada basically.   So one day I just had an urge to talk to my pen pal instead of writing to her, so I called information and told them her last name and her street address and they told me what her phone # is.  I called her without my parents knowing and talked to her mother for an hour.   Her mother invited me to visit their home in Texas and after months of begging my parents and leaving notes in their pockets, purse, wallet, shoes, cars, etc, and after both sets of parents checked references on each other, we decided that my parents were going to let me go!  So I was leaving on a jet plane!  I got to spend a week in TX with Nancy and her beautiful family.  They made me feel like I was home.  They made me a video and mailed it to me before I left so I already had an idea of what their town was like, what their home was like, and what everyone really looked like.  They left half of the VHS tape blank and I brought it with me in my suitcase and we filled it up when I was there.  What a wonderful family!  Then following summer Nancy came to NY and got to stay with me and my mom, and them me and my dad.  And then I went back with her to Texas for my second stay with the G Family.  Fast forward twenty something years to now, and we are both grown and married women.   Nancy is a mother and I am finally going to be also, and although we don't talk as much as we used to, we will always have that special bond that two girls have who spent hour after hour and nights and weeks staying up until all times of the night just talking in the dark about everything.  I got my first taste of adventure when I got on that plane to visit my friend, and also made a friendship that I will cherish forever.  So among an awesome card and a couple of handwritten notes to explain each book and why she chose it, she sent me 2 books that were most helpful to her when she had her son Jacob.  Nancy has always been a smart girl, and she is a natural mother so I absolutely can not wait to dive into these books.  What a great day!

I love that the 2nd book is titled The Happiest Baby on the Block because what brought Nancy and I together in the first place was our undying love for New Kids on the Block!  I loved (what am I saying loved... I still love!!!) the bad boy Donnie, and Nancy was one of the few who chose the sweet and most unassuming, Jonathan.   We were (what am I saying were... we still are!!!) so awesome :)

So tonight it is just me and the pups and the couch, with a good book and an occasional cupcake :)

 I am seriously blessed!

Names On The Brain

I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog. 

Living Large and Staying Cool
Living Large and Staying Sane
Living Large and Staying Small Cool

The reason for this possible upcoming change is because if all goes well and according to plan I will be getting quite large in about 6 months when I hit my third trimester. 

That's right readers!  This girl is growing a baby!!!!

Yes there are really 2 tests there because we were a little shocked and surprised, and we thought maybe we didn't know how to read this cryptic blue line that clearly states positive, or as we say on the interwebz BFP, Big Fat POSITIVE! 

 This was the first time I took a pregnancy test with my husband and it was a beautiful thing for me to go through the wave of emotions as I made some realizations.  We were about to stop at Macys to pick me up some new bras (weight loss side effect) on our way to get sushi.  Both of these things were no longer going to happen.  No new bras because I would quickly grow out of them (I already am) and no sushi because it's raw and all that.  So we had no plans.  It was like "woah".  We sat in the bed and just talked.  I realized I was about to gain back the weight I lost plus some, go through painful labor and childbirth, learn to nurse, and be responsible for another human being.  I realized we were going to have to finally get that king sized bed so we don't smush the baby if I bring it into bed with us to feed.  I realized that I was going to have a lifelong friend and companion to mold into a good moral hardworking person with the help of the man I love.   It was beautiful to watch Brian go through the emotions, beginning at blissful ignorance and all the way to acceptance and then excitement to a new glow I've never seen in him.   It is like I watched him change into a father and caretaker over the course of a few hours.  See I initially played off the missed period pretty well  - "babe I missed my period and my boobs are sore and I'm a little nauseous, dizzy, and STARVING, but there's no way I could possibly be pregnant, even though we stopped using birth control about a year ago because there's like only 24 hours a month where it can happen but maybe we should pick up a test juuuuust in case".  Bless  his heart, and his selective hearing.  He thought that if I told myself (and him) that it couldn't be, even though it was obvious, than it couldn't be.  I was wrong,  (it happens on occasion even if I don't like to admit it) and 6 weeks pregnant!  We called my PCP and she got us in for a more professional test the following morning.  She confirmed the EPT and put me on prenatal vitamins.  I made my appointment with my longtime OBGYN for May 31 when I will be near 10 weeks.  And now I wait.  And eat.  And sleep. 

I'm really hoping to stay fit and healthy through this pregnancy.  I understand that I will gain weight.  I know I need to in order to make a healthy baby and I am comfortable with that.  I am ECSTATIC that I've gotten to a  happy weight now.  All my blood work came back fantastic that I had done 2 weeks ago when I was unknowingly carrying our little kidney bean.  I've been taking vitamins since February which I hadn't done in my entire life.  I am strong and fit, my blood pressure is great, it is just the right time.  We are blessed.  We both know several people who are struggling to conceive or to carry full term, and for some reason God still chose us.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

I also constantly feel nervous that I will miscarry.  So I am doing exactly what my body tells me to do.  My body tells me to eat a chocolate muffin, I do.  Tells me to go back to sleep (which is what it is saying most often lately) I do.  I really look forward to getting back to exercising but right now until my body tells me it wants to, I'm just lazing and grazing.  I don't want to lose this.  Reality is I am 34 years old and I have a 15-25% chance to miscarry in the first trimester, so I am prepared to accept the fact that this may not be our exact time.  If something happens and this really is not our time, than it is not for a reason.  I thought about not coming out and telling everyone so soon because I don't want to have to explain it if something bad does happen, but I've always been an open book, so why stop now? 

I started looking at names today.   This might be a new blog.  I'm not sure if I am going to use this forum to document my diet and exercise, or if I will get a separate journal for that.  I think it will just be an outlet for me to write a little and for my out of town friends and family to keep up with my growing family.  So there it is.  Baby Names and Blog Titles.  I guess I will do a new "About Me" also.  Exciting times :)

The Weight Thing Returns

I think I have been focusing too much on exercise and not enough on diet lately.  The scale is revolting.

I haven't talked too much about the details of my weight loss so in order to get to where I am today, I will do a quick recap.  I have been intentionally relaxed and casual about this process because I want it to be easy.   That is how I approached it.  That is what worked for week one.  And week 2.  So I stuck with the relaxed approach.  I didn't cheat on the diet, I just didn't obsess with details.  I went week to week, did exactly what the Dr told me to do, and every week at weigh in it paid off.  When I think about things too much I get obsessed and that is how I gained the 20 lbs in the first place. 

Let me start with how I gained.  I am happy at 125 lbs, although my entire life I have fluctuated between 121 and 129.  I'm 5'2" so definitely happier at 121 than 129 but until I turned 30 I was easily able to drop a few (2-3) pounds when I saw I was getting up there.  Then something happened.  I noticed it when Brian and I took a trip to the Grand Canyon.  Brian took a picture of me and it is the first pic I've ever had taken that I banished anyone from seeing.  Here it is.  How did this happen to my body?

HI BOOBS! 

Despite the fact that obviously my boobs were huge, we still had a great time.  We hiked down the Bright Angel Trail to the 3 mile point and then back up in about 3 hours.  It was other worldly and I fell in love.  I swore that if there was a language called "Grand Canyon" I would learn to speak it so we could be closer. 

It was a difficult hike for me because I thought I was in excellent shape (it wasn't THAT long ago that I was playing soccer in high school and community was it?  Oh YEAH, 11 years.  Whoops...)  My Dear Husband even caught a video of my struggles, as he ran circles around me.

(somehow I put the same video on twice, sorry readers)

So what came of this trip was the first item on my bucket list.  Hike all the way to the bottom and see the Colorado River first hand.  But knowing what my calves felt like after 6 miles out and back, I knew I would need to condition.  So I went back to Tampa and joined a gym November 2008.  I weighed in at 131.  It was my heaviest I'd been, but the trainer I met with on day 1 said it was a decent BMI for me, so I wasn't concerned with losing, only with increasing muscle mass and cardiovascular strength.  As a way to thank Jesus for not killing me on the hike back up in the canyon, I quit smoking.  And started working out.  Those 2 combinations made me a hungry girl.  So even though I was working out and getting stronger (and obsessing about my weight 24/7), the scale crept from 131 to 144 between Nov 2008 and Feb 2011.  That is 27 months of making decent food choices and working hard at the gym.  I went from a size 4 to an 8.  I joined Weight Watchers and gained 5 pounds.  I thought I must be dying of some strange disease that is also making me fat.  So I went and saw my Dr. in May 2010. My thyroid was fine.  But wait, it looks like I might have liver disease. My enzymes were highly elevated (and my cholesterol was 257).  Suddenly my thoughts shifted from a few extra pounds to a life of health problems.  Liver disease, heart disease.  Neither of these things are conducive to the lifestyle I desire.  So I quit drinking (let me clarity.  I quit drinking triple vodka and soda with lime, and would occasionally have a glasses or 2 of a nice red wine)  Let's be real now.  I'm still "healthy" said my Dr.  Just keep up with WW and come back for another MRI in 6 months and we will go from there.  Well 6 months later and it's November 2010 and Brian and I are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary.  I'm fatter than ever, and very depressed over it.  I'm leaving out the butter and mayo.  I'm drinking my coffee black.  I switched from sandwiches to wraps.  What could I possibly be doing wrong?  I didn't want to hear bad news about the liver thing so I  didn't go back and see my Dr.  I want to keep my intestines.  So I just kept plugging along, obsessing and trying to lose weight.  Come December I got news that there was a Groupon for Dr Garcia Medical Weight Loss program.  $150 for 30 days.  I called Brian and begged him to buy it for me (because I was at work and the deal was about to expire).  I expected him to say that was silly and a waste of money, but to my surprise he said "sure, no problem" and the Groupon was MINE ALL MINE!  I made my appointment for Feb 2, 2011.  I weighed in at 142 lbs.  The Dr did an EKG, and a full blood workup.  I found out my liver had healed itself from not drinking (sweet JESUS!) but cholesterol was exactly the same.  Dr concluded that likely the cholesterol is genetic.  I was ordered to repeat the blood work in 6 weeks, either with him or my primary, and likely a discussion of Lipitor will take place then.  My brother and sister are already on the cholesterol medication so I guess it's my turn.   Besides the cholesterol issue, I was clear to start the diet.  I went on the appetite suppressants and cut out all fat, sugar and starch from my life.  I drank a gallon of plain water a day.  I had severe headaches for about 3 days from sugar withdrawals.  I didn't know if I could do it.  Then the headache went away and the weight started coming off.  Week one I lost 4 pounds.  Week 2 I lost 4.  Week 3 I lost 3.  Week 4 I lost 3.  Then it was slower.  1 pound, 1.5 pounds.  I tapered off the meds after 30 days (from 2 doses of 30mg Phendimetrazine a day to 1) and on my 2 month mark on April 2 I was at 123 and 2 weeks off the medication.  I've been on maintenance since  March 23 and have since gotten down to 119.5.  Now I go back every Monday at my convenience for a B shot.  I like the accountability of the weigh in every week.  My energy level has never felt better (I don't know if it is really the shots, or just the freedom I feel from not carrying around that extra 22 pounds) so I'm going to stick with this plan.  I'm experimenting with different foods to try and see what I have to do to "maintain".  I want to go a week where I don't gain or lose. 

This week I forgot about my shot on Monday.  I was at work from 9:30-6:30 so I was busy, but this illustrates how lackadaisical I have become about the diet.  I'm getting cocky.  So the next chance I had to go was Thursday.  I went from 119.5 to 121.5 over 10 days, so either it is "that time of the month" and it's water weight, or I'm eating something wrong.  I'm thinking I didn't eat enough protein so this week I am going back to eggs for breakfast instead of oatmeal.  I'm not going to eat white bread this week (I was feeling very confident and had focaccia twice!!, thinking it was OK if I ate the sandwich open faced and threw out the top part.  I don't think it is, for me.  I think it's whole grain or nothing for this girl.  I never know how much I like bread, but I like feeling good better).

So anyway, that recap was much longer than I anticipated so I will leave with why I came here.  I am adding more protein with every meal this week.  Here is a picture of my protein rich breakfast.  2 scrambled eggs with red onions, and 2 slices of turkey bacon with black coffee.

And I am also going to leave with a little begging.  Please don't hate me because I cheated and went to a Dr and took pills to lose weight.  I know not everyone agrees with this method, and it is not available to everyone whether it be because of finances or location.  I got lucky and found a good deal that made it available to me, but I really used this experience to learn and I am changed because of it.  I am now struggling with maintenance and not disease, but I am now normal and doing it on my own without pills and without impending death by heart attack. 

People see me lately and notice I've lost weight and ask how did I do it.  I tell them I cheated but really it is possible without the pills, the pills  just make it more comfortable.  The most important part of the transformation is the WATER.  I can't stress that enough.  The Dr says I was not drinking enough water and eating too much bread so my body was storing the carbs.  So I did a form of a body boot camp to restart my metabolism.  Adding the water to flush the carbs out took care of my stomach problems, my lack of energy, and my bloating.  I beg anyone who feels like I used to to up your water intake.  I'm not a Dr and I don't recommend pills unless yours does, but 1 gallon of water a day (not more than that - you need to keep some of the nutrients from food in your body also) keeps me feeling clean and good. 

So cheers!  Here's a toast of my big glass of water to find a happy spot on the scale and stay there, or around there for the rest of our happy healthy heart disease free lives.